Bigmouth Strikes Again

Discontent

Electric Lucy — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 21:16:31 +0000

Discontent. It feels like cement slowly hardening in your veins. You feel heavy, you feel slow. Nothing feels right. There’s nowhere you’re supposed to be. You feel like a sea star pressed beneath a rock that is the rest of the world. It’s like you’ve been strapped down and forced to watch the rest of the universe exist. There’s no role for you on this stage; there’s no seats left in the audience. It’s worse when you can’t figure out where your discontent lays. It’s like when you feel a bug crawling on your elbow, but when you go to brush it off, it’s not there. It’s that invisible tickle. You don’t notice anything is wrong until you feel that miniscule brush against your skin. It electrifies your nervous cells, making hair stand on end, shooting through your body, traveling through complicated highways till it reaches your brain. You’re aware of the tickle, the soft intrusion, so you reach your hand down to investigate what could’ve been the cause of this disruption. But there’s nothing to be found. You lay in bed and contemplate this. The idea that there might be a bug in your bed has been planted and you can’t let it go. You sit there and submerge yourself in the paranoia. This is discontent. You’re happy. The world is your oyster. It’s perfect. Life has never been better. But one day you feel the slightest tickle on the back of your mind. You feel like something is wrong, when obviously nothing is. You try to search for the source of this idea. What is this discontent and why is it here? When you can’t find a reason, you start to question your sanity. Am I imagining things? Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I am incapable of being content with.. being content. Or maybe there is a problem. But how are you supposed to fix a problem you can’t see? How do you swat a fly that never crawled on your skin? Or ever existed for that matter! It’s a tedious and menacing mind game. There’s no rule book and no instructions; you have no idea you’re playing until you’ve already been tackled to the ground. You’ll just have to be content with being discontent I guess.

Calling Dr. Manhattan! Will you be departing from Mars anytime soon?

Electric Lucy — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 07:07:13 +0000

Who are you? I sincerely have no idea anymore. Your body is the same; your face is the same. Everything else is different. The way you talk, your actions, your mannerisms are foreign to me. You’re like a machine now. I haven’t seen even the shyest glimpse of heart in you since you left. It seems like every single action, even the most minute impulse in you, is driven by daggers. You don’t smile; you smirk. Every seemingly harmless joke is a jab that you cloak with your laughter that follows. You play fight with a little too much force. You don’t walk with your chin raised high because you’re confident, you walk that way to bring yourself higher than everyone else. Everything you do is to bring the people around you down. There’s that saying, you have to step on a few people to get to the top. Well, you’re trying desperately to get to the top of your mountain, but you’re not going anywhere. You keep grasping at the scalps around you, pulling people down by their hair till their head’s beneath your heels and you’re not getting any higher.

I used to think you were just hurt; you would get over whatever you were going through. It’s been so long though, and you’re only disappearing more rapidly. I remember the old you. I miss him. He was someone I admired very much. I remember someone who cared, sincerely cared about people. Not just because he should, but because he had some sort of compassion. I remember someone who was unique. I remember someone who didn’t have time for the petty high school gossip. I remember someone who other people looked up to because he didn’t. I remember someone who I could spill my guts out to and would not judge me. I remember someone who I could talk to about real, substantial things. I remember a human being. So, with every prick and jab, I try and bite my tongue in hopes that he’ll come back around if I’m nice enough. Unfortunately, every once in awhile, you cut just a little too deep and I can’t help but protest. I know this doesn’t help, and on the occasions I can’t control my tongue, I’m probably just pushing you further in. I’m sorry for this. And really, I do believe you’re still in there somewhere. You’ve just been pushed so far in, I’m afraid you won’t find your way back out again…

So, this is long overdue, but… farewell friend.

Hello Dr. Manhattan.

Electric Lucy — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:59:26 +0000

Hmm… Well, Grooveshark.com seems to be doing something funny with this whole playlist posting business… I hope that you guys will still be able to listen to the playlist I’ve made, I guess it just won’t be in the fashion that it normally happens? Who knows. Let’s just go with the flow and hope this works out in the end!

Days Like These

Electric Lucy — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:54:44 +0000

I haven’t put up a playlist in a long time which has been bothering me lately, so I have made one! A really long one… It’s a whopping 21 songs! Are you ready for this musical feast guaranteed to make you eargasm till your brains shake?! Well, if not, then this obviously isn’t the place for you to be! Go back to your World of Warcraft, you ork loving sonuva cracker! As for the rest of you, trek onwards to this melodic banquet I’ve prepared for you, my little darlings!

Grooveshark Widgets – Music Playlists for Your MySpace & Blog.

Strange twilight cinema

Electric Lucy — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 19:53:16 +0000

I had the strangest dreams last night. Well, not the strangest, but they were very intriguing indeed. The first one was short and my memories of it are vague. I remember falling asleep out front of a shop, which ended up being owned by my mom. I was rolled up naked inside of the dirty, black mat laying outside the door. When I woke up I was nervous my mom would find me there and thus discover my strange sleeping habits. I woke up and snuck my way into the shop. Apparently I had slept longer than I thought and the shop was already open and people were inside sipping coffee and browsing through the various items for sale. I remember an old man glancing up at me, though he didn’t seem too startled about my nudity. Rather, he seemed to have that “those damn teenagers” look on his face. My mom had a stack of clothes folded and ready for me in the back of the shop. She just gestured at them and kept on working. I quickly swooped them up and scurried to the washroom to get dressed. That’s all I remember about that dream.

The second took place at this odd, industrial river. It was constructed quite like a water slide at a water park except it was made of cement, was more parallel and rather than steep, and it was much wider. It twisted and turned and lay between two platforms. The water was clear, clean, and refreshing. The air was warm and the sun hung high above our heads. I was with two people, a boy and a girl around the same age as me. I got the impression I was really good friends with them, but for the life of me I cannot remember who the people in my dream were… Anyways, we were playing around in this industrial river and having a good time for quite a while. Eventually small, orange goldfish started to appear. They seemed not to mind our presence too much. Then larger grey fish started to swim into the river. These ones seemed a little less friendly. We started to get out of the river onto one of the platforms on the sides. Suddenly the water started to turn orange and a dark, foamy sludge started to form on the surface of the water. For some reason we needed to find a way to the other side onto the other platform. There was a rope we could swing upon dangling above us. The girl I was with went first. She grasped the rope and swung over the water and then fell right in to the orange sludge. The boy character and I needed to find another way across. We considered walking along the edge of the river, but it seemed dangerous and almost impossible. The boy eventually got fed up and just jumped right into the water and swam across. Behind him the sludge parted and exposed a small trail of slightly cleaner water, so I jumped in and followed him to the other side. And that is about the time I woke up.

There’s something about these dreams that just seems a little eery and slightly metaphorical. I hate waking up thinking, “What could this possibly mean!?” but, unfortunately, I am not a professional dream interpreter and I guess I will never know!

L-O-V-E

Electric Lucy — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 06:05:58 +0000

Love is a word I often find used too frivolously. After letting it fly out into the world only to have it returned bruised and beaten many a time, I decided to save it. This time I’ll save it for the right, tiny, little segment of time. But as I wait with it grasped firmly in my throat, I find myself getting jumpy with anticipation. When is the right moment? Is it in dark secluded corners? Or wrapped up in cold, knotted sheets; held within smooth, clasped hands; on dirty pavement under rainy skies; or pressed between bare chests? During all these fleeting moments, the four forbidden letters dangle threateningly on the tip of my tongue. Realizing the crime I’m about to commit, I quickly swallow them back up before my carelessness is exposed. So when I’m alone I look back on these moments and shun my negligent behaviour. I then try and dissect love; I try to find the right meaning by looking at it from every angle, scalpel in hand, in hopes that my scientific experiment will give hint to the proper usage. It is a word often exchanged between happy friends, so why not now? I asked for advice and they said, “With some people it’s never the right time to say ‘I love you’.” This gave me little hope for my case. I needed an answer quick. Times were getting dire. Whenever I let my fingertip slide slowly over your jaw line and the tips of our noses are almost touching, I can feel my tongue curl up into the dreadful “L” sound. So I found a solution. “I like you.” It sounded innocent enough and you accepted it happily, but this is only temporary and the expiration date is debatable. I guess I’ll keep waiting for that fateful moment when I know for sure that I can say it and mean it. I’m not a fan of empty promises. Forever is a word I make a point of rarely using and I am proud of that. I will never say you are the most beautiful human being in the world because I haven’t seen every human being and I am not suited to make that judgement. And I guess I’ll love you when I finally figure out what it means…

The earth, my love

Electric Lucy — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:20:12 +0000

I took biology 12 when I was in grade 11 and since then (well maybe it started before, but it was even more often afterwards) I noticed how trees are strikingly similar to veins, capillaries, and arteries. I liked the idea of relating something from the earth with my own circulation system within my body. It seemed that the clouds were suspended in the air like mammoth, white organs and it was the trees, branching off from trunks, to branches, to small capillary like twigs holding them there. I started imagining a pulse. With every step, my heels descended down to the cement and the pads of my feet quickly followed creating a beat. Tha-pump. Tha-pump. Tha-pump. I felt the breeze touch my face, like falling asleep face to face with a lover and feeling their breath dance across your eyelashes. I walked towards my gate, following the twisted path beneath the power lines which stuck into the air like giant bedposts. The sky’s round, orange eyelids fell slowly and he pulled his large blue comforter to his chin. Stars appeared like little iridescent dreams hanging above his head and I sang him celestial lullabies till I could hear the soft rumble of his thunderous snores.

Electric Lucy — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 04:09:45 +0000

So, Lewis and I are exchanging mix cds and I was extremely bored as I have no life and what not, so I decided to make some covers for the cds. These are them! Gah, I love them so much it’s ridiculous! I don’t even want to give them away! Unfortunately that would be extremely selfish of me so I’m going to give them to him anyways.

On the path to becoming a little more aesthetically pleasing

Electric Lucy — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 02:18:54 +0000

So, I need to get a haircut and I’ve been googling all day and I’ve had a lot of trouble finding something. I found a couple pictures and I need your guys’ feedback, because I love you all and I’m sure you’ll have a good opinion or two kicking around up there in your little, squishy brains.

And yeah, I have a thing for asians, so what?

Also, I’m aware that a couple of the pictures are of the same cut just styled a little different, but whatevs.

…and Karen O is a rock ‘n roll bitch and I love her, just so you know

Electric Lucy — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:18:02 +0000

Who knew the grape taffy would be such a great choice? The sun is shining and I’m whistling again. Hubba bubba!